Wanted: Designated Driver

Got in some trouble recently with an obnoxious driver when I was trying to “be a responsible person taking a cab.” Now I can’t take cabs, but I still want to be responsible and not drive home after my frequent nights of drunken fun. That’s where you come in?

Qualifications:
-Responsible
-Valid Colorado driver’s license
-Know who Todd Sauerbrun is
-Don’t mind light physical abuse
-Turn off the stereo when told
-Comfortable working with criminals

Meet me outside the Cherry Cricket at 2am this Friday, bring resume. If I wake up at home instead of in a cell, you’ve got the job!

Rocky Mountain News
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