More definitive proof that Eric Byrnes is a stoner

By Gabe Stein | Sunday September 23rd 2007, 5:42 pm

We’ve been saying it all year long. Eric Byrnes is definitely a stoner, and we’re pretty sure he often plays baseball high. The reason he crashes into walls all the time is that he’s playing impaired. Look at his eyes, look at his hair. Look at the way he approaches the ball, as if it’s likely to jump up and bite him at any moment. We know what he’s thinking when he throws the ball to the plate: “woh, what if I could get the runner out AND do a front flip?” Well, more evidence for our case in a recent SI article. The money quote:

Byrnes & Co. gave a rickshaw driver $100 to pedal to a Jack in the Box, procure $40 worth of burgers and return. Says Byrnes, “Hunger should never be denied.”

One word: Munchies.

For more Byrnesian exploits, see this article. We like the knee-high socks and sandals look, but we have to wonder: is this one of those ‘I’m better when I’m high’ deals, or does Byrnes think he’s so good that it doesn’t really matter what state of mind he’s in?

TOPICS: Baseball

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