I SOLD A MOVIE TICKET AND SNACKS TO JOHN LYNCH
I’m back from college for six weeks (Carleton is on trimesters), and I got a job at a movie theater to help pass the time/earn some money. Up until last night, I didn’t like the job very much. I was bored most of the time when I was at the theater, usually reading for most of my shift. That all changed Friday night. A reenactment of my internal dialogue:
This job is boring. This job is boring. This job is boring. Oh shit, customers. At least I’ll have something to do. Why is that old guy saying “I’ve met you a few times, I’m Steve?” to that guy? “Nice to see you.” How is this man answering that with such poise? He clearly doesn’t know who Steve is. What did Steve just say about a California boy in Colorado? Woops, customers. Whoa. WHOA. HOLD THE PHONE. Is that? Who is that? NO! NO WAY!
I say “What can I get for you?” He says “2 for Into the Wild.” WHOA JOHN LYNCH IS SEEING AN ARTSY MOVIE. Should I tell him nice game? He did have a big hit. But we lost, he’s probably here for an escape. I don’t want to be that guy. I won’t say anything about that. I say “any popcorn, candy, soda, beer, wine?” He says “Uhhhh. Can I have some red vines, and what do you want (to wife).” “I’ll have some Dots and um…a medium…um…can I get three quarters Diet Pepsi one quarter Diet Dr. Pepper?” YEAH YOU CAN, I’LL MAKE JOHN LYNCH’S WIFE ANY CRAZY DRINK SHE WANTS. “Yup. That it for you?” John Lynch says “Can I have a small Sierra Mist too?” “Yup.” So I get ‘em their snacks etc, then John Lynch hands me his silver AmEx, which I covertly inspect for his name. HOLY CRAP JOHN LYNCH DOESN’T HAVE A WALLET OR A MONEY CLIP, HE JUST WRAPS 20 DOLLAR BILLS AROUND HIS IMPORTANT CARDS. WHAT A GENIUS. Not a black card? Really? Oddly enough, the card reader doesn’t like his AmEx. So he gives me another one, which works fine. John Lynch is signing a credit card receipt. Whoa. John Lynch’s autograph. Should I ask him for one? No, I don’t want to be that guy. John Lynch walks away. HOLY CRAP JOHN LYNCH! Was I taller than John Lynch? That’s not possible…I think I was! I’m as tall as John Lynch, maybe taller!
He came back for a medium popcorn. The other guy working asked for his autograph.
So to recap, John Lynch likes Red Vines, Sierra Mist, medium popcorns, and John Krakauer novel adaptations. He also dislikes wallets and money clips. I’m roughly John Lynch’s height, though I’m not as ferocious a hitter.
I still don’t really like the job.
