Hey, uh…Clint?

(From CollegeHumor)

Clint Hurdle has a way with the ladies? I mean, I just call ‘em how I see ‘em…

A Quick Observation

If Denny Neagle was using steroids, then why was he soliciting prostitutes? I mean, if steroids shrink a man’s normal-sized balls to M and M proportions, wouldn’t his sex drive go down? I probably just have an inadequate knowledge of the reproductive system, but from a layman’s view, something doesn’t fit here. That’s what she said. So Denny Neagle must have had a massive sex drive to start with or something. That, or he’s got an airtight defense lined up for a libel suit against Mitchell.

Rockies in the Mitchell Report

None of the big names currently on the Rockies have been outed by the Mitchell report, which was released today. However, the following current and former Rockies players and personnel have been cited. I’m also including a list of people who mentioned in the report who had ties to the cited Rockies players. Position and year is relevant to the players’ tenure with the Rockies. Unless otherwise stated, the players mentioned did not cooperate with the investigation.

Bobby Estalella, Catcher, 2002-03
Substances: HGH, Clomid
Sources: Greg Anderson
Circumstances: Started using HGH and Clomid when recovering from shoulder surgery in 2002, as recommended by Greg Anderson.
Notes: Dodgers scouts noted in 2003 that Estalella was a “poster boy for the chemicals.”

Larry Bigbie, Outfielder, 2005
Substances: Deca-Durabolin, testosterone, Sustanon, anti-estrogen drugs, HGH
Sources: David Segui, Kirk Radomski
Circumstances: Started using Deca-Burabolin, testosterone, and Sustanon in 2001 in an attempt to be more competitive on advice from David Segui. Switched to HGH in 2004 on advice from Kirk Radomski.
Notes: Bigbie has been cooperating with investigators, and noted specifically that he did not use substances during his sting with the Rockies.

Jack Cust, Outfielder, 2002
Substances: Unknown
Sources: Larry Bigbie
Circumstances: Was at least taking steroids by 2003.
Notes: Bigbie’s locker was next to Cust’s at Baltimore’s AAA Ottawa. Cust admitted to Bigbie that he had been taking steroids and could obtain anything he wanted from an unnamed source. Bigbie mentioned Cust’s name to federal agents as a part of his cooperation with the investigation.

Greg Zaun, Catcher, 2003
Substances: Deca-Durabolin, Winstrol
Sources: Kirk Radomski, Luis Perez
Circumstances: Jason Grimsley referred Zaun to Kirk Radomski in 2001. Luis Perez also claimed to have supplied Zaun with steroids in 2002.
Notes: Radomski never actually spoke to Zaun, but did receive orders on his behalf and checks from Zaun.

Glenallen Hill, Coach, 2007-Present
Substances: HGH, Sustanon
Sources: Kirk Radomski
Circumstances: There are differing accounts. Kirk Radomski claims to have met Hill socially in 2000 and sold him several HGH kits. Hill says he bought Sustanon from Radomski after being referred to him by a player named “David.”
Notes: Hill was required to submit to interview for the investigation because he is a current MLB employee. He claims to have never actually taken the substances he received from Radomski because he was too busy dealing with “marital stress” at the time, and retired from baseball only a few years later.

Denny Neagle, Pitcher, 2001-03
Substances: HGH, various anabolic steroids
Sources: Kirk Radomski, Dan McGinn
Circumstances: Neagle met Kirk Radomski in New York in 2000. Neagle ordered from Radomski several times between 2000 and 2004.
Notes: One order was from Dan McGinn, former Rockies clubhouse attendant, who sent a check to Radomski on behalf of Neagle.

Ron Villone, Pitcher, 2001
Substances: HGH
Sources: Kirk Radomski, Denny Neagle
Circumstances: Rockies pitcher Denny Neagle referred Villone to Kirk Radomski in 2001. Villone made three purchases between 2004 and 2005.
Notes: Villone tried to by HGH in 2006, after the federal investigation had searched Radomski’s home. Radomski told Villone he was dry.

Mike Lansing, Second Base, 1998-2000
Substances: HGH, testosterone
Sources: Kirk Radomski, David Segui
Circumstances: David Segui referred Lansing to Kirk Radomski between 1995 and 1997. Lansing ordered testosterone and HGH on February 5, 2002.
Notes: Kirk Radomski’s address book, which was seized by federal investigators in 2006, contained Lansing’s name and the address of a Colorado residence where Lansing lived when he played for the Rockies.

Kent Mercker, Pitcher, 2002
Substances: HGH
Sources: Kirk Radomski
Circumstances: Mercker ordered one kit of HGH from Kirk Radomski in 2002 when he was recovering from surgery.
Notes: 2002 is the year Mercker played on the Rockies.

Matt Herges, Pitcher, 2007-Present
Substances: HGH
Sources: Kirk Radomski, Paul LoDuca
Circumstances: Paul LoDuca referred Herges to Kirk Radomski. Herges made several orders between 2004 and 2005.
Notes: Herges called Radomski after the investigation asking for more HGH. Radomski replied that he was dry. Herges was an integral part of the Rockies’ 2007 run to the world series, becoming one of their most effective middle-inning relievers after his July call-up. The Rockies recently signed Herges to a one-year contract worth $2.5 million.

Gary Bennett Jr., Catcher, 2001-02
Substances: HGH
Sources: Kirk Radomski, Denny Neagle
Circumstances: Bennett was referred to Kirk Radomski by Denny Neagle. Bennett made one order for HGH in July 2003.

Sources and their implications
Coming Soon…

A real tearjerker

Here it is. They may have fallen short in the series, but these guys are a special group, I tell you.

Joe Kennedy is Dead

Former Rocky pitcher Joe Kennedy died this morning in his Florida home. Details on the cause of his death are elusive, but I’ve heard speculation of aneurysm/heart failure. Kennedy put in a superb year with the Rox in 2004, and I think he had the biggest curveball I’ve seen thrown at a mile high. Anyway, ESPN has more on the story here.  He and his family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Broken dreams, crushed hopes, etc.

It’s over. The Rockies aren’t gonna win the World Series this year. It hurts my soul, yes, and unless you’re some kind of monster, it hurts yours too.

To the folks at Coors last night and tonight, you rock. Because of your non-stop raucousness and persistent, thundering “GO…ROCKIES,” I was proud to be from Colorado. Even with our embarrassing performance in game 1. I was watching the game with some other dudes, and a Yankees fan among them complemented me on our fans’ indefatigability. If nothing else, the Rockies’ losses at home at least reaffirmed my love of Colorado and Coloradans.

So remember people, we’re Colorado sports fans. Mourn tonight, root for the Broncos tomorrow.

Hang in there, Denver.

The Red Sox are invading. Let’s show them how real people behave (courteously, not like assholes with extreme entitlement issues) and then show them how real outfields treat fake outfielders. I can’t help but be an optimist: this series is going to be the most dramatic in recent memory. It’s going to fit the rest of the Rockies season perfectly; in other words, gentlemen, start your defibrillators. In the end, though, we’re going to come out on top.

Josh Fogg is pitching Saturday, and before the series began, I felt good about him being on the mound for game 3 should the Rockies lose the first two. He’s that calming, reliable influence that we desparately need right now. We figured out their hitters tonight, and if the offense can get going and the pitching can build on Thursday’s performance, we’ve got them right where we want them.

To all you Boston fans honking your horns and yelling outside my window right now: get ready for a quiet weekend.

Let’s hope they’re right

Take a look at this simulation of the World Series. It has the Rockies winning it all in seven games, and let’s hope they’re right. But look a bit closer at the game 1 prediction: Red Sox 11, Rockies 2. That’s scary accurate, but look even closer at the box score. It has Mike Lowell, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz combining for 8 hits and 8 RBI. The real game? 7 hits (though “only” 4 RBI). It had 2 Boston runs in the first as well. Real life: 3 runs.

The good news is, tonight it has the Rockies winning 8-4. I hope it’s right, but if Matt Holliday hits a two-run homer in the first, I’m calling “Back to the Future” on that thing.

One game is not four games.

True to form, the celebrating has already begun in Boston. But just remind yourself: One game is not four games. Thirteen runs doesn’t win you four games. A billion extra-base hits doesn’t win you four games. Only winning four games wins you four games.

And remember this, Red Sox fans: the Rockies weren’t supposed to win against Beckett. Win tomorrow and it’s still a successful first two games for les Rox. So don’t wake up in the morning and start talking about the Junior Varsity just because the Rox got their first bad pitching performance in 22 games. That’s called a double standard, that’s called hypocrisy, and that’s called setting yourselves up for major disappointment.

See you on the other side of this one.

Rockies Disaster Report: Game 1 Preview

Listen to RDR #1 - World Series Game 1 Preview

I just posted a Game 1 Preview podcast of sorts on YouCastr.com, which is a new youtube-like website for sports fans. The cool part about it is that they provide some amazingly simple web-based software that lets users do live audio broadcasts and then archives that content with space for comments and ratings and what-have-you, all automagically.

So the analysis is pretty simple stuff designed to introduce Sox fans (and there are a lot of them on YouCastr, just look at the comments) to the Rockies. But you might enjoy it, and, for nostalgia’s sake, I’ve brought back the Rockies Disaster Report name. If they lose, I’ll definitely blame the name and change it to something else, even though I already have the RDR logo work done and everything.

Listen to RDR #1 - World Series Game 1 Preview