A Less Famous Coaching Tirade

“Don’t ask me all these stupid ass fucking questions.”

Hahahahaha at 56 seconds there’s a guy with blood on his face. I’m hoping that’s from the thrown phone.

“Put that in your pipe and smoke it”

Fuck the Patriots

What a bunch of fucking douche bags.  Bill Belichick makes s’mores with puppies instead of  marshmallows.

Jeff Huson Talking About Things Besides Baseball

So with last night’s extra-long thriller of a game we all got a double dose of everyone’s favorite borderline retarted color commentator, Jeff Huson. I was watching the game with Gabe and my friend Mark and we were thinking: what if Jeff Huson was talking about anything besides baseball. The DSZ used its gigantotronic ad revenues to bug Huson’s house? Transcripts of various Jeff Huson conversations follow.

——————————————————————————————-

Wolf Blitzer: This week in Iraq, the largest attacks to date in the troubled nation claimed over 400 lives. The suicide bombs were directed against a little-known religious minority known as the Yazidis.

Jeff Huson’s wife: That’s just horrible! Jeff, honey, did you hear that?

Jeff Huson: Iraq is next to Israel. A lot of guys these days are carrying AK-47s.

JHW: Honey, Iraq is not next to Israel. They’re close though!

Jeff Huson: AK-47s aren’t that accurate though.

——————————————————————————————

Jeff Huson’s daughter: Hi daddy!

JH: Hey, missy! How was school?

JHD: Um. I was outside doing a lemonade stand. School starts next week, daddy. (Giggling)

JH: Go to your room.

——————————————————————————————

Jeff Huson’s dog: Woof!

JH: What’s that, boy? There’s trouble at the old well?

Jeff Huson’s dog: Woof?

(rustling)

(20 seconds of silence)

(shotgun blast)

(scream)

JHD: Woof?

———————————————————————————————

JHW: Jeff, honey, what do you want for dinner?

JH: STEAK!

JHW: Honey, we’ve had steak every night for the past–

JH: STEAK! STEAK! WE WANT STEAK! STEAK! STEAK! WE WANT STEAK!

JHW: Alright, I’m going to go to Safe–

JH and daughter : STEAK! STEAK! WE WANT STEAK! STEAK! STEAK! WE WANT STEAK!

JHW: Bye…

JH: STEAK! I mean, bye.

———————————————————————————————

Sorry for being a dick, Jeff. You’re more successful than I’ll ever be. Hell, I can’t even figure out how to make a solid seperating line across the page. P.S. I don’t know if Jeff Huson has a dog, wife, or daughter.

Pac Man Jones, Not Just a Rap Mogul, a Rapper

The Pac Man Jones chain of events just keeps getting more hilarious, people. The AP is reporting that Pac Man Jones has started “National Street League Records” and is going to be in the group “Posterboyz.” The group is just him and the producer Spoaty, which kind of makes it seem not like a group at all, but whatever. As of now, Pac man is a plural. Posterboyz. My main concern is Pac Man’s street cred. I mean, he has been arrested six times, but how can a rapper that Indian gave his makin’ it rain money claim to be ballin’?

Speaking about the naming of his “group,” Pac Man said:

“Looking from the outside in, I have been the example for many to see the poster child if you will; and from that sentiment the ‘Posterboyz’ group name was born”

The example of what?

Anyway, here’s the National Street League myspace. I don’t think Pac Man’s on there yet, but there’s a make it rain lyric in “Poppin’ Rubber Bands.”

The Only Logical Conclusion to the Mike Vick Saga

So I was doing some thinking today while listening to the radio, and I had a sudden epiphany. Mike Vick’s gonna be a Raider. In light of Vick’s plan to spend a year in jail, Mark Moser was saying that the negative publicity generated by Mike Vick’s doggy day care operation would prevent post-slammer employment. That seems wrong to me. If Al Davis is still alive in a year, Mike Vick will be a Raider.

Here’s why Vick will be a Raider once he gets out of the cooler:

-Vick has character issues and a criminal history

-Vick has a great 40 time

-Al Davis is secretly a crazy cat lady, so he’s got no beef with Vick treating dogs badly