God Damnit I Hate Rockies Management. And Woody Paige.
The new buzz around the Denver sports world (besides you know, all of the more interesting stuff that’s going on) is that Todd Helton might get traded to the Red Sox. Because the Rockies are involved in the trade, you can be sure the terms being discussed are horrible for the Rockies (the kind that make you think that the Monforts are opium addicts that are trying to get money for their addicts). (Opium is a terrible drug, but is there any more historically cool drug? The modern war on drugs has nothing on when the British went to war to keep the opium trade going. Not kidding.)
I need to talk about Ryan Shealy before my Monfort-induced rage makes me forget about him. Last year, the Rockies let one of my favorite players–Ryan Shealy–go. I was pretty angry but understood the justification: clearly if the Rockies were trading Shealy, a first baseman whose huge size precluded a position switch, Todd Helton would be sticking around. It made sense, even. Sure Helton’s numbers had been declining (steroid withdrawal?), but he was a Denver treasure, the remnants of the respectable decent close-to-.500 era. Now the Rockies, just a few months after they dealt Shealy to the Royals for some crappy bullpen help, are talking to the BoSox about trading Helton. God damnit. I really hate Rockies management. Shouldn’t they have kept their most major-league-ready prospect (Shealy) if they were planning to deal Helton? Oh right, they weren’t planning to do anything, they just look for excuses to cut costs at every turn and lack any sort of baseball strategy.
Now I don’t really follow minor leaguers because I’m lazy, but there’s talk of the Rockies getting Mike Lowell plus some A-AAA guys in exchange for Helton. If the Rockies are actually trying to build for the future, they definitely do not want Mike Lowell on the team. Honestly, swapping treasured overpaid vets for random overpaid vets isn’t a great idea. How many dudes are going to buy Mike Lowell jerseys?
Oh, plus, if the Rockies are developing players, wouldn’t Mike Lowell just slow down progression by taking a lineup spot? Eh? Eh?
Again, I don’t know the minors, but just for information purposes, the Rockies will probably get either Manny Delcarmen or Craig Hansen. I’m hoping Delcarmen’s 9.90 ERA he posted last year during a month in the majors was a fluke.
Moving on to village nationally-hated idiot Woody Paige, he wrote a column in the paper about how the Rockies ought to trade Helton for Manny Ramirez. Okay. I’d love to see Manny in Colorado, I think it would work out great. Colorado doesn’t care about baseball and likes home runs, Manny doesn’t care about baseball and likes home runs. A match made in heaven. Unfortunately, Woody, the BoSox don’t really want to give up someone that’s very good at baseball in exchange for someone that’s not that good at baseball anymore. Ramirez’ OPS last year:1.058, Helton’s OPS last year:.880. Ramirez’ home runs last year:35 , Helton’s home runs last year: 15. And so on. God I hate Woody Paige. And Rockies management. And working.
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